$90  --------------------> $38


!!!
















解釋比袖珍英漢字典更詳盡,



附有例句,








價錢卻便宜一半!
























快d 去三聯執平貨啦!



































[不知其價格是否還有下調空間? ]





















 

"The best way to relate to criticism of your work is to profit from it. As a beginner, you must realize that you have much to learn and that persons with some experience in the theatre can be of great help to you. While well-intended and constructive criticism is obviously going to be the most helpful to you, you can learn from callous criticism as well - as long as you filter it properly. The important things are not to take criticism too personally and not to waste a lot of time defending yourself. In the long run, it means little if the criticism is fair or unfair. If you can learn from it, use it. If you can't learn from it, forget it. All criticism is subjective in the final analysis, and you're not going to please everybody. You should be aiming at steady growth, ... ... Any suggestions or critiques that you can turn to your advantage are not only to be dealt with, they should be sought after with persistence. The finest actors do not try to avoid criticism; they solicit it."

Acting One, fourth edition, p.9, Robert Cohen

What a good attitude!

... ...

有時, 心平氣和且真誠小心地指出別人錯誤的,

會反被扣上"罔顧他人感受". "自大" 等罪名.

Then, just 

"do not to take criticism too personally and 

do not to waste a lot of time defending yourself".

It is because

"All criticism is subjective in the final analysis, 

and you're not going to please everybody."

Maybe they are not "the finest",

so they "try to avoid criticism", "take criticism personally"

and "waste a lot of time defending themselves".

I used to believe that everybody is the finest.

I used to thought that no one in the world 

does not try their best to be perfect.

But now I have learnt from the criticism.

Grapefruits!





























我只想為店子添點節目氣氛而已,

P 記的經理, 你該不會責備我吧!





















-------------------------------



















光一些, 還是暗一點好?















































第二幅是否拍得好看一點?



























 

假若上帝給你三個願望,
任何願望皆可, 但必須馬上許願,
否則願望不會成真.










那麼, 你會如何回應?































小時候的我,
馬上許下了以下三個願望:









1. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx















2. yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


























3. 擁有無限次這樣的許願機會,
可以隨時使用, 直到永遠.











... ...
























Am I clever?








Or you may think I am greedy.





































 

I suddenly remember the sentence I wrote to my friend,


in April 2003.











"對不起！由於我在寫這封電郵時，電腦突然發生故障（滑鼠不能動！），而當時又太夜了，所以我遲了回信。

為什麼我知道你搬了家？

原 因：當時你突然不上學，而家中的電話又没有人接聴，我感到很奇怪，於是每天晚上睡覺時都想一想這個心中的疑問（不要告訴別人，這是我的秘密：在每個人都睡 了覺的時候，我都會很自然地反省每一天的事，而我通常會想想明天的劇情；若果我没有看劇集，我就會想想每天令我感到氣憤的事或祈禱。要是我没有想到明天的 劇情或消了氣，我絕不會睡覺。因為在這個時候想這些心事是最安全的：因為這樣就没有人會知道我的心事了。要是我在白天想這些事，一定會被人當作發白日夢， 浪費時間。），但我想不到原因，於是它這就成了一個令我想得頭昏腦脹的問題。最後，我決定把它當作一個謎，不再想了。但在這個時候，我已經想了好有可能令 你不上學的原因了。

後來，在暑假時，你致電給我，我立即想解開這個疑團，但你又不想回答，好像不大開心；而你給我的電話又是手提電話號碼。所以我想你一定因一些事而搬了家，所以不開心。雖然這個想法末經證實，但為了令我能安心睡覺，所以我把這個想法當真了。這正是我認為你搬了家的原因。

我没有回過XX，但我知道學校裏的樹木被懶惰的校工用電鋸砍掉了，真氣人！

我 將會在香港文化中心的劇場參與一場演出。令我感到興奮的是我從來没有到過文化中心的劇場，現在可以大開眼界了；此外，我的介紹還第一次可以被印在宣傳單張 上呢！對了，你現在參加了什麼課外活動？如果你還有學樂器的話，希望你有機會獨自在舞台上感受那在台上被温暖的燈光照射著、戰戰競競的心情和聽到在耳邊響起震耳欲聾的掌聲的感覺！

我的網址是 : xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

這個網頁的質素雖然不太好，但也是我嘔心瀝血之作(裏面有很多文章！我花了不少時間把它們完成的！)，希望你能細心欣賞！

這個網頁的其中一幅照片非常有趣，但由於照片的容量較大，所以需要的時間較長，請若心等待。

這幅照片的網址是 : xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

祝

身體健康！　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

I am surprised that I didn't find any difficulties in finishing this work,

I just drop down the things directly.





And I am glad that I can express the things I want to say on the paper.





















You may view it as a story,
but those are the real things that I really want to say.















If you find any grammar or spelling mistakes,
or if you want to express want you feel,



just feel free to write down comments.

















I would be pleased even if you just correct my mistakes directly.

















Enjoy!















































;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
























































































































 

If someone ask me,


"Can you do this?"
































I'll say, "Nearly impossible."














































Tell me.











How many people around the world
would say yes




if they were being asked about?


























I really wonder about this.





































Tell me.















Please tell me.



























Just tell me honestly.

"遺憾的是, 這種不被任何事物所動的內在美妙狀態, 不會持續太久. 怕這是因為有內部干擾發生的緣故... ... "





" 要避免它[類似熟睡之前那種鬆弛的迷蒙空無感]的發生, 就要靠內心高度集中所產生的獨特發躍. 這種飛躍恐怕就是知道自己正以身家性命守顧全部感官的清醒狀態. 只要能夠成功產生一次這種飛躍, 就能正確反複它. 這飛躍的產生, 簡直能令精神獨立無一般, 向無意識的自己內部生機勃勃的狀態轉移而去. 不斷地提升這種躍動, 可能會出現只有不可思議的夢境中才會出現的經驗, 乃至出現從未有過的輕鬆愉快和真實感覺.這種感覺使你無論面向何處, 都會喚起並獲得力量, 順隨著不同階段, 隨心所欲地左右自己的緊張情緒."





"到了這一境界, 早已沒有任何特定的事要思考. 沒有計劃, 也沒有希求. 願望. 期待,甚至你不去面向任何特殊的方向和目標. 且源於這種充實的正定不偏的力量, 面對任何可能的事, 或者不可能的事, 你都會有巧妙的方法來應付... ..."





" 這樣的心, 明知有這樣那樣的特殊事物, 也不會為此思慮和執著... ... 這種境界, 好比水已漫過池邊, 依然源源流出. 這是那樣自由, 因為自由而能擁有無盡之力, 因為空無而能面向一切展開自己. 這種境界是一種本源狀態, 如同空無所有的圓, 讓站在其中的人沉默無語卻並不放棄它."





" 要實現離執, 放下自己. 徹底的精神現在, 生命的內省細緻等依存精神現在的事情越多, 自身的素質就會越高, 就越不會依賴偶然性. 不僅如此, 在必全力獻身藝道修煉的行為過程中, 即使你同時確信真正的定境必會自行顯現, 也依然不能將此寄予運氣. 藝術家在他一切行動和修煉之前, 在他完全獻身和適應他的藝道之前, 他必須通過切磋琢磨確立他的精神現在. 但是不只是要偶然地進入這種精神現在的境界, 任何時候, 都能夠成功地集中念頭, 在瞬間進入這種狀態之時, 就會像前面說過的呼吸一樣, 能夠和弓射融為一體了."





"如果他能夠做到完全忘我而無心, 在修煉時從內部調整自己, 在他之外的行為就會自行完成, 而對其進行指導. 控制的深思熟慮則顯得毫無必要."

摘錄自 <<弓和禪>>  第五章,   放下自己
[德] 奧根．赫立格爾著　冬至譯
[日]松本丁俊　審譯

Just want to show you these things in my illness,
both physically and mentally.

Just want to show you these things in my illness,
both physically and mentally.

Enneagram Type 4:
Individualist, Artist, Over-Analyzer, Mystic or Melodramatic Elitist

Overview
You want to be gifted, intuitive, original and unique. More importantly, you want to be passionate, true to your feelings and uniquely authentic. You see yourself as sensitive, expressive and spiritual. You would like others to see you as idealistic, emotionally deep and compassionate. Your idealized image is that you are accomplished and special.

Motivated by the need to understand and to be understood, you desire experiences that are rich with feeling and meaning. You may find it easier to deal with painful emotions than to deal with the tedium of daily routine. You have the temperament of an artist and long to freely express yourself. You feel your emotions deeply and are not afraid to go emotionally where others fear to tread. This includes having an exquisite, intuitive ability to distinguish between subtle emotions that others often miss. Painfully self-conscious, you are often overly focused on how different you are from others. A true humanitarian, you have a natural passion for protest. At times intense and contrary, you are not afraid to think for yourself and voice your point of view.

Nostalgic by nature, you often focus on past experiences. This can lead you to deeper insights or to downward spirals of melancholy and/or painful unresolved feelings. Craving ideal circumstances or love, you often ruminate on what is missing and perceived to be important. Your tendency towards self-absorption is both an asset and liability. It can lead you to deep personal insights that can benefit everyone while feeding your self-deprecating sense of humor; but it can also make you appear to be self centered and disinterested in others. Feeling your own inner world so powerfully, it is good to remember that others’ experiences are just as real for them as yours are for you.

When you step out of the river of your emotions, you can bring forth your many talents into the world and express them in a way that is extraordinary and original. You are like the lotus flower growing in the mud that is able to transform emotionally painful experiences into fertilizer for personal growth. Attuned to feelings, you have an uncommon sensitivity when it comes to dealing with suffering. You are not afraid to hear about someone else’s troubles, and you can be a great friend to anyone in emotional pain.

Need
You need be seen as artistic, gifted and accomplished. You focus on your individuality and on carving your own distinct image. You need to express your deep feelings and want others to validate your emotions. Whether you are organizing your living space to reflect your refined tastes or engaging in an artistic pursuit, it is essential for your sense of well being that you express your creativity.

Avoid
You avoid feeling lost, disorientated and without personal significance, meaning or direction. You also avoid appearing inadequate, defective or flawed. Most importantly, you have a hidden fear of being emotionally cut off and abandoned. You avoid affectation and anything dull, ordinary, ugly, vulgar, inauthentic or distasteful.

Virtue
Your greatest strengths are your deep intuition, creativity and ability to transform painful life experiences into opportunities for profound growth and healing. This enables you to identify what is missing, and like a knight on a quest, you search until you find it or create it. Astute about human nature, you believe that everyone is an individual and that all emotions have value. Profound and insightful, you have an uncanny knack for transforming the dull and the ordinary into the exciting and extraordinary. You are able to see and appreciate what is truly unique, special and rare.

Vice
Your vice is envy. You’re always worrying that others may have gotten a better deal than you or are being recognized while your talents are being overlooked. Hyper-sensitive, you can be moody, haughty and overly emotional, always seeing the grass as greener and the glass half empty. You can be self-absorbed and temperamental, and tend to over-personalize all life experiences and interactions with others. Capable of being emotionally manipulating or overly critical, you are often unaware of the impact your emotional nature has on others. Remember, that you are like a mystic who sees ‘the river beneath the river’ and are not just the swamp of your emotions.

Attention
Your attention goes to searching for meaning, noticing what is missing, feelings of melancholy and nostalgia, and longing for the unavailable. You appreciate the special, the humane and the beautiful. You like to put your personal signature on everything that you do. Your refined tastes make you a great critic and someone who appreciates the truly exceptional.

Spiritual Path
Your spiritual journey is to connect to original source and create true meaning. Spiritual growth will come to you when you are able to balance your emotional nature with temperance and equanimity. Keep your powerful emotions in check, and you can create the kind of life that you want.

Mantra
Don’t dwell on the past, and remember to enjoy the pleasure that can be found in each moment. When you have gratitude and the courage to move through your fear of rejection and share your talents, others will honor your original and creative contributions.

Wing
If you are the Enneagram Type 4 with the 3 Wing, you desire to appear genteel. You see you yourself as fiery, passionate, expressive, energetic, beautiful, and kind.
If you are the Enneagram Type 4 with the 5 Wing, you desire to be avant-garde. You see yourself as original, sincere, mysterious, subtle, artistic and independent.

Famous 4s
Francis Bacon, John Barrymore, Ingmar Bergman, Peter Bogdanovich, Marlon Brando, Jackson Browne, Raymond Burr, Kate Bush, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Prince Charles, Eric Clapton, Kurt Cobain, Judy Collins, James Dean, Johnny Depp, Neil Diamond, Isak Dinesen, Bob Dylan, Judy Garland, Martha Graham, Billie Holliday, Lena Horne, Julio Iglesias, Jeremy Irons, Michael Jackson, Jewel, Angelina Jolie, Janis Joplin, Harvey Keitel, Charles Laughton, T. E. Lawrence, Vivien Leigh, Rod McKuen, Thomas Merton, Joni Mitchell, Jim Morrison, Morrissey, Edvard Munch, Liam Neeson, Stevie Nicks, Anais Nin, Nick Nolte, Laurence Olivier, Paris, Edith Piaf, Pink Floyd, Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allen Poe, Prince, Anne Rice, Percy Shelley, Simone Signoret, Paul Simon, Meryl Streep, James Taylor, Spencer Tracy, Vincent Van Gogh, Orson Welles, Tennessee Williams, Kate Winslet, Virginia Woolf.

All content Katherine Chernick Fauvre, David W. Fauvre, Enneagram Explorations, © 1995-2007

4
THE INDIVIDUALIST
Enneagram Type Four

The Sensitive, Introspective type:
Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental

• En Español: Tipo de Personalidad Cuatro, El Individualista
• In het Nederlands: Persoon lijkheidstype Vier, de Individualist

For more about the meaning of the arrows, see below.

Type Four in Brief

Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

• Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance
• Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an
     identity)
• Enneagram Four with a Three-Wing: "The Aristocrat"
• Enneagram Four with a Five-Wing: "The Bohemian"

Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer."

The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief)

When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), aloof Fours suddenly become over-involved and clinging at Two. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), envious, emotionally turbulent Fours become more objective and principled, like healthy Ones. For more information, click here.

Examples: Ingmar Bergman, Alan Watts, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morrisette, Paul Simon, Jeremy Irons, Patrick Stewart, Joseph Fiennes, Martha Graham, Bob Dylan, Miles Davis, Johnny Depp, Anne Rice, Rudolph Nureyev, J.D. Salinger, Anaîs Nin, Marcel Proust, Maria Callas, Tennessee Williams, Edgar Allan Poe, Annie Lennox, Prince, Michael Jackson, Virginia Woolf, Judy Garland, "Blanche DuBois" (Streetcar Named Desire), Thomas Merton.

Type Four Overview

We have named this type The Individualist because Fours maintain their identity by seeing themselves as fundamentally different from others. Fours feel that they are unlike other human beings, and consequently, that no one can understand them or love them adequately. They often see themselves as uniquely talented, possessing special, one-of-a-kind gifts, but also as uniquely disadvantaged or flawed. More than any other type, Fours are acutely aware of and focused on their personal differences and deficiencies.

Healthy Fours are honest with themselves: they own all of their feelings and can look at their motives, contradictions, and emotional conflicts without denying or whitewashing them. They may not necessarily like what they discover, but they do not try to rationalize their states, nor do they try to hide them from themselves or others. They are not afraid to see themselves “warts and all.” Healthy Fours are willing to reveal highly personal and potentially shameful things about themselves because they are determined to understand the truth of their experience—so that they can discover who they are and come to terms with their emotional history. This ability also enables Fours to endure suffering with a quiet strength. Their familiarity with their own darker nature makes it easier for them to process painful experiences that might overwhelm other types.

Nevertheless, Fours often report that they feel they are missing something in themselves, although they may have difficulty identifying exactly what that “something” is. Is it will power? Social ease? Self-confidence? Emotional tranquility?—all of which they see in others, seemingly in abundance. Given time and sufficient perspective, Fours generally recognize that they are unsure about aspects of their self-image—their personality or ego-structure itself. They feel that they lack a clear and stable identity, particularly a social persona that they feel comfortable with.

While it is true that Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. The “romantics” of the Enneagram, they long for someone to come into their lives and appreciate the secret self that they have privately nurtured and hidden from the world. If, over time, such validation remains out of reach, Fours begin to build their identity around how unlike everyone else they are. The outsider therefore comforts herself by becoming an insistent individualist: everything must be done on her own, in her own way, on her own terms. Fours’ mantra becomes “I am myself. Nobody understands me. I am different and special,” while they secretly wish they could enjoy the easiness and confidence that others seem to enjoy.

Fours typically have problems with a negative self-image and chronically low self-esteem. They attempt to compensate for this by cultivating a Fantasy Self—an idealized self-image which is built up primarily in their imaginations. A Four we know shared with us that he spent most of his spare time listening to classical music while fantasizing about being a great concert pianist—à la Vladimir Horowitz. Unfortunately, his commitment to practicing fell far short of his fantasized self-image, and he was often embarrassed when people asked him to play for them. His actual abilities, while not poor, became sources of shame.

In the course of their lives, Fours may try several different identities on for size, basing them on styles, preferences, or qualities they find attractive in others. But underneath the surface, they still feel uncertain about who they really are. The problem is that they base their identity largely on their feelings. When Fours look inward they see a kaleidoscopic, ever-shifting pattern of emotional reactions. Indeed, Fours accurately perceive a truth about human nature—that it is dynamic and ever changing. But because they want to create a stable, reliable identity from their emotions, they attempt to cultivate only certain feelings while rejecting others. Some feelings are seen as “me,” while others are “not me.” By attempting to hold on to specific moods and express others, Fours believe that they are being true to themselves.

One of the biggest challenges Fours face is learning to let go of feelings from the past; they tend to nurse wounds and hold onto negative feelings about those who have hurt them. Indeed, Fours can become so attached to longing and disappointment that they are unable to recognize the many treasures in their lives.

Leigh is a working mother who has struggled with these difficult feelings for many years.

“I collapse when I am out in the world. I have had a trail of relationship disasters. I have hated my sister’s goodness—and hated goodness in general. I went years without joy in my life, just pretending to smile because real smiles would not come to me. I have had a constant longing for whatever I cannot have. My longings can never become fulfilled because I now realize that I am attached to ‘the longing’ and not to any specific end result.”

There is a Sufi story that relates to this about an old dog that had been badly abused and was near starvation. One day, the dog found a bone, carried it to a safe spot, and started gnawing away. The dog was so hungry that it chewed on the bone for a long time and got every last bit of nourishment that it could out of it. After some time, a kind old man noticed the dog and its pathetic scrap and began quietly setting food out for it. But the poor hound was so attached to its bone that it refused to let go of it and soon starved to death.

Fours are in the same predicament. As long as they believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with them, they cannot allow themselves to experience or enjoy their many good qualities. To acknowledge their good qualities would be to lose their sense of identity (as a suffering victim) and to be without a relatively consistent personal identity (their Basic Fear). Fours grow by learning to see that much of their story is not true—or at least it is not true any more. The old feelings begin to fall away once they stop telling themselves their old tale: it is irrelevant to who they are right now.

(from The Wisdom of the Enneagram, p. 180-182)

Excerpt from Type Four ITAR (4:40 minutes)  

Buy the Individual Type Audio Recording of Type Four—Click Here

Type Four—More Depth by Level

Healthy Levels

Level 1 (At Their Best): Profoundly creative, expressing the personal and the universal, possibly in a work of art. Inspired, self-renewing and regenerating: able to transform all their experiences into something valuable: self-creative.

Level 2: Self-aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of feelings and inner impulses. Sensitive and intuitive both to self and others: gentle, tactful, compassionate.

Level 3: Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self." Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong.

Average Levels

Level 4: Take an artistic, romantic orientation to life, creating a beautiful, aesthetic environment to cultivate and prolong personal feelings. Heighten reality through fantasy, passionate feelings, and the imagination.

Level 5: To stay in touch with feelings, they interiorize everything, taking everything personally, but become self-absorbed and introverted, moody and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, unable to be spontaneous or to "get out of themselves." Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy time to sort out feelings.

Level 6: Gradually think that they are different from others, and feel that they are exempt from living as everyone else does. They become melancholy dreamers, disdainful, decadent, and sensual, living in a fantasy world. Self-pity and envy of others leads to self-indulgence, and to becoming increasingly impractical, unproductive, effete, and precious.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function.

Level 8: Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them.

Level 9: Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive, possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional breakdown or suicide is likely. Generally corresponds to the Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic personality disorders.

Learn More

• Overview of Type Four from Personality Types (over 2,500 words)
• Expanded Descriptions of each type are available to purchasers of the online RHETI Enneagram test. These 2,800+ word descriptions contain new material on relationships, personal growth, the Levels of Development, and more.
• The Riso-Hudson Books offer the most complete type descriptions available anywhere. Personality Types is the most complete, in-depth, systematic treatment of the nine types and the Enneagram system as a whole, and The Wisdom of the Enneagram provides the comprehensive guide to psychological and spiritual growth for the nine personality types.

More about Type Fours and

• Personal Growth
• Compatibility with Other Types
• Addictions
• Misidentifications with Other Types

THE INDIVIDUALIST
Overview of Type Four

In the artist of all kinds I think one can detect an inherent dilemma, which belongs to the co-existence of two trends, the urgent need to communicate and the still more urgent need not to be found....

What more fruitful way to redressing the balance than by portraying one's inner world in a work of art and then persuading other people to accept it, if not as real, at least as highly significant? Part of the satisfaction which a creative person obtains from his achievement may be the feeling that, at last, some part of his inner life is being accepted which has never been accorded recognition before. Moreover, since art became an individual matter rather than a task for anonymous craftsmen, creative work is generally recognized as being especially apt for expressing the personal style of an individual (which is of course closely related to his inner world). The value we place upon authenticity is often exaggerated; yet there is a sense in which it is justified. However good a painting or a piece of music may be, taken quite apart from its creator, the fact that it is or is not another expression of the personality of a particular artist is important. For it either is or is not an addition to our knowledge of that artist; a further revelation of that mysterious, indefinable and fascinating thing—his personality. (D. W. Winnicott, quoted in Anthony Storr, The Dynamics of Creation, 58.)

The nature of creativity will probably always remain mysterious because its basis is irrational—in the feelings and unconscious of those who create—and because, as Winnicott notes, part of the motive for creating is to remain concealed, to be unfound by others. Yet the motives given for artistic work—to communicate and to conceal the self—are but two possible motives which any person may have for creating. These two motives are, however, particularly appropriate to the Four, the artistic temperament among the personality types. Of course, members of any other personality type can become artists in the sense of making a livelihood by producing works of art, however that is defined. Fours, however, are in search of their identities, and art is the foremost means they have of finding themselves, as well as their way of reporting to the world what they have discovered.

In the Feeling Center

The Four is the personality type which emphasizes the subjective world of feelings, in creativity and individualism, in introversion and self-absorption, and in self-torment and self-hatred. In this personality type we see creative artists, romantic aesthetes, and withdrawn dreamers, people with powerful feelings who feel different from others because self-consciousness blocks them from getting outside themselves.

Fours are the most self-aware of the types, and this is the basis of what is most positive and negative about them. The constant conflict we see in Fours is between their need to be aware of themselves, so they can find themselves, and, at the same time, their need to move beyond self-awareness, so they will not be trapped in self-consciousness. The tension between self-awareness and self-transcendence can be resolved in creativity. In the creative moment, healthy Fours harness their emotions without constricting them, not only producing something beautiful but discovering who they are. In the moment of inspiration, they are, paradoxically both most themselves and most liberated from themselves. This is why all forms of creativity are so valued by Fours, and why in its inspired state, creativity is so hard to sustain. Fours can be inspired only if they have first transcended themselves, something which is extremely threatening to their self-awareness. In a sense, then, only by learning not to look for themselves will they find themselves and renew themselves in the process.

The problem with average Fours, however, is that they try to understand themselves by introspecting upon their feelings. As they move inward in a search for self, they become so acutely self-conscious that their subjective emotional states become the dominant reality for them. And, because even average Fours are so involved with their emotions, they do not usually express their feelings directly. Instead, they communicate their feelings indirectly though art, if they have they talent and training to do so.

The overall direction of their personalities therefore is inward, toward increasing self-absorption, because Fours feel that they are different from other people, and they want to know why they feel this way. Ironically, however, they try to find their place in life by withdrawing from it so they can trace the labyrinth of their emotions. But the result of their withdrawal is that even average Fours have noticeable difficulties coping with life, while unhealthy Fours have some of the most severe emotional difficulties of all the personality types.

Fours tend to compound their emotional difficulties in some striking ways. Because Fours have identified themselves with their feelings, they begin to look for intensity of feeling in all of their activities. The more intensely they feel something the more real they feel. Thus, average Fours begin to employ their imaginations to "stir up" their emotional life. They can take even the most transitory encounter and dwell on it for hours to extract all of its "emotional juice." The problem is that it becomes difficult for Fours to dwell deeply in their moods and fantasies if they are still interacting with others. Their feeling states and self-image become rarefied to a degree that reality will not support. Increasingly, they begin to withdraw from life and real relationships and experiences, both to prevent others from interfering with their strong reveries and moods, and to avoid potential embarrassment and humiliation. As they draw the curtains and turn away from life, however, they cut themselves off from the wellspring of their feelings and their creativity—participation in the world.

In healthy Fours, however, the rich life of the unconscious becomes accessible and is given shape. More than any other personality type, healthy Fours are the bridge between the spiritual and the animal in human nature because they are so aware of these two sides of themselves. They sense in themselves the depths to which human beings can descend, as well as the heights to which they can be swept up. No other personality type is as habitually aware of the potentials and predicaments of human nature: human beings are spiritual animals occupying an uneasy place between two orders of existence. Fours sense both sides of their potentially conflicting natures, and they suffer intensely or are ecstatic because of them. This is why, at their best, healthy Fours create something which can move others deeply because they have been able to get in touch with the hidden depths of human nature by delving deeply into their own. By doing so, they transcend themselves, and are able to discover something universal about human nature, fusing personal conflicts and divergent feelings into art.

But, like everyone else, most Fours do not live at the peak of their potential. In response to anxiety, they turn inward, becoming self-conscious, particularly about the negativity they discover in themselves. To offset their negative feelings, they use their imaginations to make their lives more bearable. As a result, average Fours begin to withdraw from ordinary life. They become self-absorbed and do not learn how to relate to people or how to manage in the practical world. They feel like outsiders, somehow flawed and different from others, unable to break through the barrier of self-consciousness that separates them from easy commerce with the world.

And if they are unhealthy, their negative feelings feed upon themselves because Fours have closed themselves off from any other influences. Unhealthy Fours are so completely alienated from others, and ironically, even from themselves, that they despair of ever finding a way out of their excruciating self-consciousness. They realize that their search for self has led them into a world of useless fantasies and illusions. Understanding only too clearly what they have done to themselves, and fearing that it is too late to do anything about it, unhealthy Fours hate and torment themselves, turning against themselves to destroy what they have become.

Problems with Identity

Fours find it difficult to transcend self-consciousness because just the reverse is what they want: to become more conscious of their states and feelings so that they can find themselves and arrive at a firm sense of identity. But as they become more self-conscious, Fours become increasingly drawn into unresolved, contradictory, and irrational feelings which they want to sort out before they dare express them.

Self-discovery is an extremely important motive for Fours because they never feel that their sense of self is strong enough to sustain their identities, particularly if they need to assert themselves. Because their feelings change so readily, their sense of identity is not solid, dependable, in their own hands. They feel undefined and uncertain of themselves, as if they were a gathering cloud which may produce something of great power or merely dissipate in the next breeze. Fours can never tell how the next moment will affect them, so it is difficult for them to count on themselves. Something is missing in the self, something they cannot quite put their fingers on, but which they feel they lack nonetheless.

The difficulty is that average Fours may not know what their feelings are until after they have expressed them personally or artistically. But if they express all that they feel, they fear that they may reveal too much, exposing themselves to shame or punishment. On the other hand, by not expressing their feelings, average Fours undermine the possibility of discovering themselves by getting caught in endless self-absorption. They become aware of being aware of themselves—their consciousness is filled with little more than fantasies and memories, ultimately leading to illusions, regrets, and a wasted life.

As Fours become more fearful that they cannot find a solid identity in themselves, they begin to create one out of whatever random tendencies they find. Thus, matters of taste, likes and dislikes, and emotional reactions become the materials which Fours use to construct an identity. Because their sense of self is so tenuous, however, Fours begin to put a great deal of weight on what would be for others relatively unimportant traits. ("I only wear black." "I listen to Puccini, but never Wagner.") It is important to note that most of these personal traits function by negation. Fours may not know who they are, but they certainly believe they know who they are not. While these idiosyncrasies can be fairly harmless in and of themselves, as Fours increasingly depend on them to figure out who they are, they begin to paint themselves into a corner. In the interest of maintain a narrowly defined self-image, Fours may refuse to engage in many basic activities necessary to live their lives. ("Poets don’t work in an office.")

As we have seen in the other types of the Feeling Center, the Two and the Three, much of the Four’s energy goes into maintaining a consistent self-image which is somehow at odds with the real, essential self. Twos did this by looking for others to respond to their goodness in ways that would make them feel lovable. Threes kept their self-image intact by getting validation for their achievements and giving themselves inner "pep talks." Fours do something akin to the inner talk of the Threes in that they maintain the sense of identity through a continuous inner dialogue and referencing of their emotional reactions. Of course, Fours want someone to validate their self-images, too, but they are less dependent on the affirmation of others than Twos or Threes. In fact, much of their identity is tied to their feelings about not having the affirmation of others. Feeling different and misunderstood is as central to the Four’s false self-image as being only good and loving is to the Two’s or being a totally competent "winner" is to the Three’s.

Parental Orientation

Fours are disconnected from both parents. As children, they did not identify with either their mothers or their fathers. ("I am not like my mother; I am not like my father.") They may have had either unhappy or solitary childhoods as a result of their parents' marital problems, divorce, illness, or simply because of personality conflicts within the family. In some cases, Fours may have had relatively "normal," uneventful childhoods. Nonetheless, even with a supportive environment, they did not see themselves reflected in either parent: they felt that their parents did not see them as they actually were or that what their parents conveyed to them was somehow irrelevant. Lacking definitive role models, Fours as children turned inward to their feelings and imaginations as the primary sources of information about themselves from which they could construct their identities.

From childhood, Fours felt essentially alone in life. It seemed to them that, for some reason they could not understand, their parents had rejected them, or at least, that their parents did not take much interest in them. Fours therefore felt that there must be something deeply wrong with them, that they were somehow defective because their parents did not give them the kind of nurturing attention which, as children, they needed. As a result, they turned to themselves to discover who they are.

Self-knowledge became their most important goal, the means by which they hoped to fit into the world. Fours felt that if they could discover who they are, they would not feel so different from others in the deep, essential way that they do. However, instead of creating themselves through introspection, Fours ironically become trapped in self-consciousness. Their self-consciousness alienates them, making them feel vulnerable and arouses their aggressions at themselves and others, particularly their parents. But because they also feel powerless to express their aggressions or to do anything about their condition, they withdraw from their parents and from others, turning their aggressions mostly against themselves.

Because the formative relationship with their parents was primarily one of disconnection, Fours also begin to develop a sense of ego identity based on their difference from others. There were few qualities in their parents that they identified with, so Fours began to inventory all the things that they were not—all of the ways in which they were unlike the people around them. Eventually, this sense of difference becomes a strongly developed and defended part of their self-image and many Fours have difficulty seeing the many ways in which they are like everyone else. To be "ordinary" becomes a frightening prospect, since a sense of "being unique" feels like one of the only stable building blocks of their identity.

Their disconnect from their parents also produces a longing for the "good parent"—the person who will see them as they truly are and validate the self they are trying to construct. Fours usually experience this as a longing for an ideal mate or partner. They will often project this role onto new acquaintances, idealizing them and fantasizing about the wonderful life they will have together. Unfortunately, as Fours get to know the person better, they become disenchanted, realizing that the other is not the "good parent" who will rescue them from all their problems. He or she is just another human being with flaws and shortcomings. The other’s "blemishes" soon become the focus of the Four’s attention, and they lose interest in the person. Before long they are back to their search and fantasizing again, but generally with less hope of finding the person "of their dreams."

Problems with Hostility and Despair

Like Twos and Threes, the other two personality types of the Feeling Center, Fours have a problem with hostility. They direct their hostility at themselves because like the Twos and Threes, Fours have rejected their real self in favor of an idealized self-image. However, because of their self-awareness, Fours are always becoming conscious of all of the ways in which they are not like their idealized self. They come to disdain many of their real qualities which they see as barriers to becoming the self of their imagination. Angry with themselves for being defective, Fours inhibit and punish themselves in the many ways which we will see.

Of course, Fours also experience hostility toward others. They can become enraged if others question or dismiss their self-image or moods, but they tend to express this by "dropping" people, suddenly and without explanation. The creativity of Fours can also be employed in sarcastic, withering remarks directed at those who have wounded their "sensitivities." Fours also can experience intense hostility at the very people they have idealized. When others fail to live up to Fours’ hopes of the "good parent," they may relive the original pain they felt at not being able to connect with their parents, but project this onto the new love interest. They may dramatically express the rage and emotionality that they could not with their own parents, but usually withdraw quickly before the intensity of their feelings overwhelms them or does further damage to their relationships. More often, Fours will simmer and seethe in silence.

On a deep, unconscious level Fours are hostile toward their parents because they feel that their parents did not nurture them properly. Fours feel that they were not welcomed into the world; they feel out of place, unwanted—and they are deeply enraged at their parents for doing this to them. However, their rage at their parents is so deep that Fours cannot allow themselves to express it. They fear their own anger, and so withhold it, trying to come to terms with it themselves.

As awareness of their hostility and negative feelings gradually wears them out, average to unhealthy Fours sink ever more deeply into self-doubt, depression, and despair. They spend most of their time searching for the courage to go on living despite the overwhelming sense that the essential flaw in themselves is so deep that it cannot be healed. Indeed, the feeling of hopelessness is the current against which they must constantly swim. And if the undertow of hopelessness is too strong, unhealthy Fours either succumb to an emotional breakdown, or commit suicide because they despair of ever breaking free of it.

As soon as Fours devote themselves to a search for self by withdrawing from life, they are going in the wrong direction. No matter how necessary this search may seem to them, they must become convinced that the direct search for self is a temptation which eventually leads to despair.

On the other hand, what makes healthy Fours healthy is not that they have freed themselves once and for all from the turbulence of their emotions, but that they have found a way to ride that current to some further destination. Healthy Fours have learned to sustain their identities without exclusive reference to their feelings. By overcoming the temptation to withdraw from life to search for themselves, they will not only save themselves from their own destructiveness, they will be able to bring something beautiful and good into existence. If they learn to live this way, Fours can be among the most life-enhancing of the personality types bringing good out of evil, hope from hopelessness, meaning from absurdity, and saving what appeared to be lost.

(from Personality Types, p. 135-143)

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Enneagram Type 4 - The Individualist

Identity seekers, who feel unique and different

People of this personality type tend to build their identities around their perception of themselves as being somehow different or unique; they are thus self-consciously individualistic. Fours tend to see their difference from others as being both a gift and a curse - a gift, because it sets them apart from those they perceive as being somehow "common," and a curse, as it so often seems to separate them from the simpler forms of happiness that others so readily seem to enjoy. Thus, Fours can manage to feel superior to others while also secretly harboring some degree of longing and envy. A feeling of being a member of the "true aristocracy" alternates with deep feelings of shame, and fears of somehow being deeply flawed or defective.

Fours are emotionally complex and highly sensitive. They long to be understood and appreciated for their authentic selves, but easily feel misunderstood and unappreciated. They have a tendency to withdraw in the face of a world that seems harsh or crude, and are often somewhat moody or temperamental. They are emotionally centered and spend much of their lives immersed in their internal mental landscapes, where they feel free to cultivate and analyse their feelings. A desire to manifest this internal world often leads Fours to an interest in the arts, and some do become actual artists. Whether artistic or not, however, most Fours are aesthetically sensitive and concerned with self-expression and self-revelation, whether it be in the clothes they wear or in the overall nature of their often idiosyncratic lifestyles.

Fours are somewhat melancholic by disposition, and under stress tend to lapse into depression. They also tend to be self-absorbed, even under the best of circumstances, but when unbalanced, easily give way to a self-indulgence which they perceive as being fully justified as a way to compensate for the general lack of pleasure they experience in their lives. Rather than look for practical solutions to their difficulties, Fours are prone to fantasizing about a savior who will rescue them from their unhappiness.

Intellectual Fours tend to mistakenly type themselves as Fives, and a heavy wing can certainly exacerbate this tendency. Fours however, unlike Fives, tend to be self-revealing and comfortable with emotional expression.

Features:

The Heart Center: Moves towards others - Underdeveloped feeling.
Original Loss: "I was too plain and common."
Problem Emotion: Sadness
Decision: Being unique and special allows you to survive and be loved.
False Claim: "I am not ordinary. I am one of a kind."
Four Adjectives: Intuitive and creative, but self-absorbed and depressive

Self-image: "I am different. I’m not like you."
Compulsion: To be unique and have a special style.
Avoidance: Ordinariness, everyday commonness.
Sin: Envy
Gift: To bring out the unique, special qualities of a situation or a person.
Three Wing: More extroverted, upbeat, ambitious, flamboyant, and image-conscious.
Five Wing: More Introverted, intellectual, idiosyncratic, reserved, and depressed.
Stress Point: 2 - Excessive helping, compulsive intrusion, hysterical, and desperate.
Security Point: 1 - Steady, principled action, distinguishes between feelings and values.

Crossing the River: Uses fancy styles and even does a water ballet.
Affirmation: "I will value each day no matter how ordinary."

Adjectives for Average Functioning Fours:

Descriptive Adjectives for Low Functioning Fours:

Famous Examples of Fours:

Jackie Onassis, Jeremy Irons, Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, Anne Rice, J.D. Salinger, Edgar Allen Poe, Prince, Judy Garland, Vincent Van Gogh, Marlon Brando, James Dean, Patsy Cline, Elizabeth Taylor, Janis Joplin, France - the Country.

Enneagram Type 4 (Four): The Individualist, Romantic, Artist

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Fours are the poets and the artists. Well, fours are the starving artists. Sometimes, you know, you have to starve to get to the real stuff.

Fours are the masters of the emotional realm. Fours seem to be old souls. They have been around the block with heartache and even if they still get caught up in it they know there way around.

Some books say that four]]> http://hap2002hello.mysinablog.com/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=2028516 http://hap2002hello.mysinablog.com/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=2028516 http://hap2002hello.mysinablog.com/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=2028516 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 03:29:20 +0800 網誌日期：2009-11-03 22:44

2008_09_25 ~6pm



























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