網誌日期：2009-11-09 01:55
Just want to show you these things in my illness,
both physically and mentally.
1. http://www.enneagram.net/type4.html
Enneagram Type 4:
Individualist, Artist, Over-Analyzer, Mystic or Melodramatic Elitist
Overview
You want to be gifted, intuitive, original and unique. More
importantly, you want to be passionate, true to your feelings and
uniquely authentic. You see yourself as sensitive, expressive and
spiritual. You would like others to see you as idealistic, emotionally
deep and compassionate. Your idealized image is that you are
accomplished and special.
Motivated
by the need to understand and to be understood, you desire experiences
that are rich with feeling and meaning. You may find it easier to deal
with painful emotions than to deal with the tedium of daily routine.
You have the temperament of an artist and long to freely express
yourself. You feel your emotions deeply and are not afraid to go
emotionally where others fear to tread. This includes having an
exquisite, intuitive ability to distinguish between subtle emotions
that others often miss. Painfully self-conscious, you are often overly
focused on how different you are from others. A true humanitarian, you
have a natural passion for protest. At times intense and contrary, you
are not afraid to think for yourself and voice your point of view.
Nostalgic by nature, you often focus on past experiences. This can lead
you to deeper insights or to downward spirals of melancholy and/or
painful unresolved feelings. Craving ideal circumstances or love, you
often ruminate on what is missing and perceived to be important. Your
tendency towards self-absorption is both an asset and liability. It can
lead you to deep personal insights that can benefit everyone while
feeding your self-deprecating sense of humor; but it can also make you
appear to be self centered and disinterested in others. Feeling your
own inner world so powerfully, it is good to remember that others’
experiences are just as real for them as yours are for you.
When you step out of the river of your emotions, you can bring forth
your many talents into the world and express them in a way that is
extraordinary and original. You are like the lotus flower growing in
the mud that is able to transform emotionally painful experiences into
fertilizer for personal growth. Attuned to feelings, you have an
uncommon sensitivity when it comes to dealing with suffering. You are
not afraid to hear about someone else’s troubles, and you can be a
great friend to anyone in emotional pain.
Need
You need be seen as artistic, gifted and accomplished. You focus on
your individuality and on carving your own distinct image. You need to
express your deep feelings and want others to validate your emotions.
Whether you are organizing your living space to reflect your refined
tastes or engaging in an artistic pursuit, it is essential for your
sense of well being that you express your creativity.
Avoid
You
avoid feeling lost, disorientated and without personal significance,
meaning or direction. You also avoid appearing inadequate, defective or
flawed. Most importantly, you have a hidden fear of being emotionally
cut off and abandoned. You avoid affectation and anything dull,
ordinary, ugly, vulgar, inauthentic or distasteful.
Virtue
Your
greatest strengths are your deep intuition, creativity and ability to
transform painful life experiences into opportunities for profound
growth and healing. This enables you to identify what is missing, and
like a knight on a quest, you search until you find it or create it.
Astute about human nature, you believe that everyone is an individual
and that all emotions have value. Profound and insightful, you have an
uncanny knack for transforming the dull and the ordinary into the
exciting and extraordinary. You are able to see and appreciate what is
truly unique, special and rare.
Vice
Your
vice is envy. You’re always worrying that others may have gotten a
better deal than you or are being recognized while your talents are
being overlooked. Hyper-sensitive, you can be moody, haughty and overly
emotional, always seeing the grass as greener and the glass half empty.
You can be self-absorbed and temperamental, and tend to
over-personalize all life experiences and interactions with others.
Capable of being emotionally manipulating or overly critical, you are
often unaware of the impact your emotional nature has on others.
Remember, that you are like a mystic who sees ‘the river beneath the
river’ and are not just the swamp of your emotions.
Attention
Your attention goes to searching for meaning, noticing what is missing,
feelings of melancholy and nostalgia, and longing for the unavailable.
You appreciate the special, the humane and the beautiful. You like to
put your personal signature on everything that you do. Your refined
tastes make you a great critic and someone who appreciates the truly
exceptional.
Spiritual Path
Your spiritual journey is to connect to original source and create true
meaning. Spiritual growth will come to you when you are able to balance
your emotional nature with temperance and equanimity. Keep your
powerful emotions in check, and you can create the kind of life that
you want.
Mantra
Don’t
dwell on the past, and remember to enjoy the pleasure that can be found
in each moment. When you have gratitude and the courage to move through
your fear of rejection and share your talents, others will honor your
original and creative contributions.
Wing
If you are the Enneagram Type 4 with the 3 Wing, you desire to appear genteel. You see you yourself as fiery, passionate, expressive, energetic, beautiful, and kind.
If you are the Enneagram Type 4 with the 5 Wing, you desire to be avant-garde. You see yourself as original, sincere, mysterious, subtle, artistic and independent.
Famous 4s
Francis Bacon, John Barrymore, Ingmar Bergman, Peter Bogdanovich,
Marlon Brando, Jackson Browne, Raymond Burr, Kate Bush, Mary Chapin
Carpenter, Prince Charles, Eric Clapton, Kurt Cobain, Judy Collins,
James Dean, Johnny Depp, Neil Diamond, Isak Dinesen, Bob Dylan, Judy
Garland, Martha Graham, Billie Holliday, Lena Horne, Julio Iglesias,
Jeremy Irons, Michael Jackson, Jewel, Angelina Jolie, Janis Joplin,
Harvey Keitel, Charles Laughton, T. E. Lawrence, Vivien Leigh, Rod
McKuen, Thomas Merton, Joni Mitchell, Jim Morrison, Morrissey, Edvard
Munch, Liam Neeson, Stevie Nicks, Anais Nin, Nick Nolte, Laurence
Olivier, Paris, Edith Piaf, Pink Floyd, Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allen Poe,
Prince, Anne Rice, Percy Shelley, Simone Signoret, Paul Simon, Meryl
Streep, James Taylor, Spencer Tracy, Vincent Van Gogh, Orson Welles,
Tennessee Williams, Kate Winslet, Virginia Woolf.
All content Katherine Chernick Fauvre, David W. Fauvre, Enneagram Explorations, © 1995-2007
2. http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeFour.asp
4
THE INDIVIDUALIST
Enneagram Type Four
The Sensitive, Introspective type:
Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental
For more about the meaning of the arrows, see below.
Type Four in Brief
Fours are self-aware, sensitive,
and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and
personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious.
Withholding themselves from others due to feeling
vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and
exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have
problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity.
At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able
to renew themselves and transform their experiences.
-
Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance
-
Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to
create an
identity)
-
Enneagram Four with a Three-Wing: "The Aristocrat"
-
Enneagram Four with a Five-Wing: "The Bohemian"
Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to
create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and
feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional
needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer."
The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief)
When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), aloof Fours
suddenly become over-involved and clinging at Two. However, when moving in
their Direction of Integration (growth), envious, emotionally turbulent Fours
become more objective and principled, like healthy Ones. For more information,
click
here.
Examples: Ingmar
Bergman, Alan
Watts, Sarah
McLachlan, Alanis
Morrisette, Paul
Simon, Jeremy Irons, Patrick
Stewart, Joseph Fiennes, Martha
Graham, Bob
Dylan, Miles
Davis, Johnny
Depp, Anne
Rice, Rudolph
Nureyev, J.D.
Salinger, Anaîs
Nin, Marcel
Proust, Maria
Callas, Tennessee
Williams, Edgar
Allan Poe, Annie
Lennox, Prince,
Michael
Jackson, Virginia
Woolf, Judy
Garland, "Blanche DuBois" (Streetcar
Named Desire), Thomas Merton.
Type Four Overview
We have named this type The Individualist because
Fours maintain their identity by seeing themselves as fundamentally
different from others. Fours feel that they are unlike other human
beings, and consequently, that no one can understand them or love them
adequately. They often see themselves as uniquely talented, possessing
special, one-of-a-kind gifts, but also as uniquely disadvantaged or
flawed. More than any other type, Fours are acutely aware of and
focused on their personal differences and deficiencies.
Healthy Fours are
honest with themselves: they own all of their feelings and can look at
their motives, contradictions, and emotional conflicts without denying
or whitewashing them. They may not necessarily like what they discover,
but they do not try to rationalize their states, nor do they try to
hide them from themselves or others. They are not afraid to see
themselves “warts and all.” Healthy Fours are willing to reveal highly
personal and potentially shameful things about themselves because they
are determined to understand the truth of their experience—so that they
can discover who they are and come to terms with their emotional
history. This ability also enables Fours to endure suffering with a
quiet strength. Their familiarity with their own darker nature makes it
easier for them to process painful experiences that might overwhelm
other types.
Nevertheless, Fours
often report that they feel they are missing something in themselves,
although they may have difficulty identifying exactly what that
“something” is. Is it will power? Social ease? Self-confidence?
Emotional tranquility?—all of which they see in others, seemingly in
abundance. Given time and sufficient perspective, Fours generally
recognize that they are unsure about aspects of their self-image—their
personality or ego-structure itself. They feel that they lack a clear
and stable identity, particularly a social persona that they feel
comfortable with.
While it is true that
Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be
alone. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they
deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their
feelings. The “romantics” of the Enneagram, they long for someone to
come into their lives and appreciate the secret self that they have
privately nurtured and hidden from the world. If, over time, such
validation remains out of reach, Fours begin to build their identity
around how unlike everyone else they are.
The outsider therefore comforts herself by becoming an insistent
individualist: everything must be done on her own, in her own way, on
her own terms. Fours’ mantra becomes “I am myself. Nobody understands
me. I am different and special,” while they secretly wish they could
enjoy the easiness and confidence that others seem to enjoy.
Fours typically have
problems with a negative self-image and chronically low self-esteem.
They attempt to compensate for this by cultivating a Fantasy Self—an
idealized self-image which is built up primarily in their imaginations.
A Four we know shared with us that he spent most of his spare time
listening to classical music while fantasizing about being a great
concert pianist—à la Vladimir Horowitz. Unfortunately, his
commitment to practicing fell far short of his fantasized self-image,
and he was often embarrassed when people asked him to play for them.
His actual abilities, while not poor, became sources of shame.
In the course of their
lives, Fours may try several different identities on for size, basing
them on styles, preferences, or qualities they find attractive in
others. But underneath the surface, they still feel uncertain about who
they really are. The problem is that they base their identity largely
on their feelings. When Fours look inward they see a kaleidoscopic,
ever-shifting pattern of emotional reactions. Indeed, Fours accurately
perceive a truth about human nature—that it is dynamic and ever
changing. But because they want to create a stable, reliable identity
from their emotions, they attempt to cultivate only certain feelings
while rejecting others. Some feelings are seen as “me,” while others
are “not me.” By attempting to hold on to specific moods and express
others, Fours believe that they are being true to themselves.
One of the biggest
challenges Fours face is learning to let go of feelings from the past;
they tend to nurse wounds and hold onto negative feelings about those
who have hurt them. Indeed, Fours can become so attached to longing and
disappointment that they are unable to recognize the many treasures in
their lives.
Leigh is a working mother who has struggled with these difficult feelings for many years.
“I collapse when I am out in the world. I have had a trail of
relationship disasters. I have hated my sister’s goodness—and hated
goodness in general. I went years without joy in my life, just
pretending to smile because real smiles would not come to me. I have
had a constant longing for whatever I cannot have. My longings can
never become fulfilled because I now realize that I am attached to ‘the
longing’ and not to any specific end result.”
There is a Sufi story that relates to this about an old dog that had
been badly abused and was near starvation. One day, the dog found a
bone, carried it to a safe spot, and started gnawing away. The dog was
so hungry that it chewed on the bone for a long time and got every last
bit of nourishment that it could out of it. After some time, a kind old
man noticed the dog and its pathetic scrap and began quietly setting
food out for it. But the poor hound was so attached to its bone that it
refused to let go of it and soon starved to death.
Fours are in the same
predicament. As long as they believe that there is something
fundamentally wrong with them, they cannot allow themselves to
experience or enjoy their many good qualities. To acknowledge their
good qualities would be to lose their sense of identity (as a suffering
victim) and to be without a relatively consistent personal identity
(their Basic Fear). Fours grow by learning to see that much of their
story is not true—or at least it is not true any more. The old feelings
begin to fall away once they stop telling themselves their old tale: it
is irrelevant to who they are right now.
(from The Wisdom of the Enneagram, p. 180-182)
Excerpt from Type Four
ITAR (4:40 minutes) 
Buy the Individual Type Audio Recording of Type Four—Click
Here
Type Four—More Depth by Level
Healthy Levels
Level 1 (At Their Best): Profoundly creative, expressing the personal
and the universal, possibly in a work of art. Inspired, self-renewing and
regenerating: able to transform all their experiences into something valuable:
self-creative.
Level 2: Self-aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of
feelings and inner impulses. Sensitive and intuitive both to self and others:
gentle, tactful, compassionate.
Level 3: Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self."
Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can
be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong.
Average Levels
Level 4: Take an artistic, romantic orientation to life, creating a
beautiful, aesthetic environment to cultivate and prolong personal feelings.
Heighten reality through fantasy, passionate feelings, and the imagination.
Level 5: To stay in touch with feelings, they interiorize everything,
taking everything personally, but become self-absorbed and introverted, moody
and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, unable to be spontaneous or to
"get out of themselves." Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy
time to sort out feelings.
Level 6: Gradually think that they are different from others, and feel
that they are exempt from living as everyone else does. They become melancholy
dreamers, disdainful, decadent, and sensual, living in a fantasy world.
Self-pity and envy of others leads to self-indulgence, and to becoming
increasingly impractical, unproductive, effete, and precious.
Unhealthy Levels
Level 7: When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self,
depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally
paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function.
Level 8: Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches,
self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming
others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them.
Level 9: Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive,
possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional
breakdown or suicide is likely. Generally corresponds to the Avoidant,
Depressive, and Narcissistic personality disorders.
Learn More
More about Type Fours and
3. http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeFourOverview.asp
THE INDIVIDUALIST
Overview of Type Four
In
the artist of all kinds I think one can detect an inherent dilemma, which
belongs to the co-existence of two trends, the urgent need to communicate and
the still more urgent need not to be found....
What
more fruitful way to redressing the balance than by portraying one's inner
world in a work of art and then persuading other people to accept it, if not as
real, at least as highly significant? Part of the satisfaction which a creative
person obtains from his achievement may be the feeling that, at last, some part
of his inner life is being accepted which has never been accorded recognition
before. Moreover, since art became an individual matter rather than a task for
anonymous craftsmen, creative work is generally recognized as being especially
apt for expressing the personal style of an individual (which is of course
closely related to his inner world). The value we place upon authenticity is
often exaggerated; yet there is a sense in which it is justified. However good
a painting or a piece of music may be, taken quite apart from its creator, the
fact that it is or is not another expression of the personality of a particular
artist is important. For it either is or is not an addition to our knowledge of
that artist; a further revelation of that mysterious, indefinable and
fascinating thing—his personality. (D. W. Winnicott, quoted in Anthony
Storr, The Dynamics of Creation, 58.)
The nature of creativity will probably
always remain mysterious because its basis is irrational—in the feelings and
unconscious of those who create—and because, as Winnicott notes, part of the
motive for creating is to remain concealed, to be unfound by others. Yet the
motives given for artistic work—to communicate and to conceal
the self—are but two possible motives which any person may have for creating.
These two motives are, however, particularly appropriate to the Four, the
artistic temperament among the personality types. Of course, members of any
other personality type can become artists in the sense of making a livelihood
by producing works of art, however that is defined. Fours, however, are in
search of their identities, and art is the foremost means they have of finding
themselves, as well as their way of reporting to the world what they have
discovered.
In the Feeling Center
The
Four is the personality type which emphasizes the subjective world of feelings,
in creativity and individualism, in introversion and self-absorption, and in
self-torment and self-hatred. In this personality type we see creative artists,
romantic aesthetes, and withdrawn dreamers, people with powerful feelings who
feel different from others because self-consciousness blocks them from getting
outside themselves.
Fours
are the most self-aware of the types, and this is the basis of what is most
positive and negative about them. The constant conflict we see in Fours is
between their need to be aware of themselves, so they can find themselves, and,
at the same time, their need to move beyond self-awareness, so they will not be
trapped in self-consciousness. The tension between self-awareness and
self-transcendence can be resolved in creativity. In the creative moment,
healthy Fours harness their emotions without constricting them, not only producing
something beautiful but discovering who they are. In the moment of inspiration,
they are, paradoxically both most themselves and most liberated from
themselves. This is why all forms of creativity are so valued by Fours, and why
in its inspired state, creativity is so hard to sustain. Fours can be inspired
only if they have first transcended themselves, something which is extremely
threatening to their self-awareness. In a sense, then, only by learning not to
look for themselves will they find themselves and renew themselves in the
process.
The
problem with average Fours, however, is that they try to understand themselves
by introspecting upon their feelings. As they move inward in a search for self,
they become so acutely self-conscious that their subjective emotional states
become the dominant reality for them. And, because even average Fours are so
involved with their emotions, they do not usually express their feelings
directly. Instead, they communicate their feelings indirectly though art, if they
have they talent and training to do so.
The
overall direction of their personalities therefore is inward, toward increasing
self-absorption, because Fours feel that they are different from other people,
and they want to know why they feel this way. Ironically, however, they try to
find their place in life by withdrawing from it so they can trace the labyrinth
of their emotions. But the result of their withdrawal is that even average
Fours have noticeable difficulties coping with life, while unhealthy Fours have
some of the most severe emotional difficulties of all the personality types.
Fours
tend to compound their emotional difficulties in some striking ways. Because
Fours have identified themselves with their feelings, they begin to look for
intensity of feeling in all of their activities. The more intensely they feel
something the more real they feel. Thus, average Fours begin to employ their
imaginations to "stir up" their emotional life. They can take even the most
transitory encounter and dwell on it for hours to extract all of its "emotional
juice." The problem is that it becomes difficult for Fours to dwell deeply in
their moods and fantasies if they are still interacting with others. Their
feeling states and self-image become rarefied to a degree that reality will not
support. Increasingly, they begin to withdraw from life and real relationships
and experiences, both to prevent others from interfering with their strong
reveries and moods, and to avoid potential embarrassment and humiliation. As they
draw the curtains and turn away from life, however, they cut themselves off
from the wellspring of their feelings and their creativity—participation in
the world.
In
healthy Fours, however, the rich life of the unconscious becomes accessible and
is given shape. More than any other personality type, healthy Fours are the
bridge between the spiritual and the animal in human nature because they are so
aware of these two sides of themselves. They sense in themselves the depths to
which human beings can descend, as well as the heights to which they can be
swept up. No other personality type is as habitually aware of the potentials
and predicaments of human nature: human beings are spiritual animals occupying
an uneasy place between two orders of existence. Fours sense both sides of
their potentially conflicting natures, and they suffer intensely or are
ecstatic because of them. This is why, at their best, healthy Fours create
something which can move others deeply because they have been able to get in
touch with the hidden depths of human nature by delving deeply into their own.
By doing so, they transcend themselves, and are able to discover something
universal about human nature, fusing personal conflicts and divergent feelings
into art.
But,
like everyone else, most Fours do not live at the peak of their potential. In
response to anxiety, they turn inward, becoming self-conscious, particularly
about the negativity they discover in themselves. To offset their negative
feelings, they use their imaginations to make their lives more bearable. As a
result, average Fours begin to withdraw from ordinary life. They become
self-absorbed and do not learn how to relate to people or how to manage in the
practical world. They feel like outsiders, somehow flawed and different from
others, unable to break through the barrier of self-consciousness that
separates them from easy commerce with the world.
And if
they are unhealthy, their negative feelings feed upon themselves because Fours
have closed themselves off from any other influences. Unhealthy Fours are so
completely alienated from others, and ironically, even from themselves, that
they despair of ever finding a way out of their excruciating
self-consciousness. They realize that their search for self has led them into a
world of useless fantasies and illusions. Understanding only too clearly what
they have done to themselves, and fearing that it is too late to do anything
about it, unhealthy Fours hate and torment themselves, turning against
themselves to destroy what they have become.
Problems with Identity
Fours
find it difficult to transcend self-consciousness because just the reverse is
what they want: to become more conscious of their states and feelings so that
they can find themselves and arrive at a firm sense of identity. But as they
become more self-conscious, Fours become increasingly drawn into unresolved,
contradictory, and irrational feelings which they want to sort out before they
dare express them.
Self-discovery
is an extremely important motive for Fours because they never feel that their
sense of self is strong enough to sustain their identities, particularly if
they need to assert themselves. Because their feelings change so readily, their
sense of identity is not solid, dependable, in their own hands. They feel
undefined and uncertain of themselves, as if they were a gathering cloud which
may produce something of great power or merely dissipate in the next breeze.
Fours can never tell how the next moment will affect them, so it is difficult
for them to count on themselves. Something is missing in the self, something
they cannot quite put their fingers on, but which they feel they lack
nonetheless.
The
difficulty is that average Fours may not know what their feelings are until
after they have expressed them personally or artistically. But if they express
all that they feel, they fear that they may reveal too much, exposing
themselves to shame or punishment. On the other hand, by not expressing their
feelings, average Fours undermine the possibility of discovering themselves by
getting caught in endless self-absorption. They become aware of being aware of
themselves—their consciousness is filled with little more than fantasies and
memories, ultimately leading to illusions, regrets, and a wasted life.
As
Fours become more fearful that they cannot find a solid identity in themselves,
they begin to create one out of whatever random tendencies they find. Thus,
matters of taste, likes and dislikes, and emotional reactions become the
materials which Fours use to construct an identity. Because their sense of self
is so tenuous, however, Fours begin to put a great deal of weight on what would
be for others relatively unimportant traits. ("I only wear black." "I listen to
Puccini, but never Wagner.") It is
important to note that most of these personal traits function by negation.
Fours may not know who they are, but they certainly believe they know who they
are not. While these idiosyncrasies can be fairly harmless in and of
themselves, as Fours increasingly depend on them to figure out who they are,
they begin to paint themselves into a corner. In the interest of maintain a
narrowly defined self-image, Fours may refuse to engage in many basic
activities necessary to live their lives. ("Poets don’t work in an office.")
As we
have seen in the other types of the Feeling Center, the Two and the Three, much
of the Four’s energy goes into maintaining a consistent self-image which is
somehow at odds with the real, essential self. Twos did this by looking for
others to respond to their goodness in ways that would make them feel lovable.
Threes kept their self-image intact by getting validation for their
achievements and giving themselves inner "pep talks."
Fours do something akin to the inner talk of the Threes in that they maintain
the sense of identity through a continuous inner dialogue and referencing of
their emotional reactions. Of course, Fours want someone to validate their
self-images, too, but they are less dependent on the affirmation of others than
Twos or Threes. In fact, much of their identity is tied to their feelings about
not having the affirmation of others. Feeling different and
misunderstood is as central to the Four’s false self-image as being only good
and loving is to the Two’s or being a totally competent "winner" is to the
Three’s.
Parental Orientation
Fours
are disconnected from both parents. As children, they did not identify with
either their mothers or their fathers. ("I am not like my mother; I am not
like my father.") They may have had either unhappy or solitary childhoods
as a result of their parents' marital problems, divorce, illness, or simply
because of personality conflicts within the family. In some cases, Fours may
have had relatively "normal," uneventful childhoods. Nonetheless, even with a
supportive environment, they did not see themselves reflected in either parent:
they felt that their parents did not see them as they actually were or that
what their parents conveyed to them was somehow irrelevant. Lacking definitive
role models, Fours as children turned inward to their feelings and imaginations
as the primary sources of information about themselves from which they could
construct their identities.
From
childhood, Fours felt essentially alone in life. It seemed to them that, for some
reason they could not understand, their parents had rejected them, or at least,
that their parents did not take much interest in them. Fours therefore felt
that there must be something deeply wrong with them, that they were somehow
defective because their parents did not give them the kind of nurturing
attention which, as children, they needed. As a result, they turned to
themselves to discover who they are.
Self-knowledge became their most
important goal, the means by which they hoped to fit into the world. Fours felt
that if they could discover who they are, they would not feel so different from
others in the deep, essential way that they do. However, instead of creating
themselves through introspection, Fours ironically become trapped in self-consciousness.
Their self-consciousness alienates them, making them feel vulnerable and
arouses their aggressions at themselves and others, particularly their parents.
But because they also feel powerless to express their aggressions or to do
anything about their condition, they withdraw from their parents and from
others, turning their aggressions mostly against themselves.
Because
the formative relationship with their parents was primarily one of
disconnection, Fours also begin to develop a sense of ego identity based on
their difference from others. There
were few qualities in their parents that they identified with, so Fours began
to inventory all the things that they were not—all of the ways in which they
were unlike the people around them. Eventually, this sense of difference
becomes a strongly developed and defended part of their self-image and many
Fours have difficulty seeing the many ways in which they are like everyone
else. To be "ordinary" becomes a frightening prospect, since a sense of "being
unique" feels like one of the only stable building blocks of their identity.
Their
disconnect from their parents also produces a longing for the "good
parent"—the person who will see them as they truly are and validate the self
they are trying to construct. Fours usually experience this as a longing for an
ideal mate or partner. They will often project this role onto new
acquaintances, idealizing them and fantasizing about the wonderful life they
will have together. Unfortunately, as Fours get to know the person better, they
become disenchanted, realizing that the other is not the "good parent" who will
rescue them from all their problems. He or she is just another human being with
flaws and shortcomings. The other’s "blemishes" soon become the focus of the Four’s
attention, and they lose interest in the person. Before long they are back to
their search and fantasizing again, but generally with less hope of finding the
person "of their dreams."
Problems with Hostility and Despair
Like
Twos and Threes, the other two personality types of the Feeling Center, Fours
have a problem with hostility. They direct their hostility at themselves
because like the Twos and Threes, Fours have rejected their real self in favor
of an idealized self-image. However, because of their self-awareness, Fours are
always becoming conscious of all of the ways in which they are not like their idealized self. They come
to disdain many of their real qualities which they see as barriers to becoming
the self of their imagination. Angry with themselves for being defective, Fours
inhibit and punish themselves in the many ways which we will see.
Of
course, Fours also experience hostility toward others. They can become enraged
if others question or dismiss their self-image or moods, but they tend to
express this by "dropping" people, suddenly and without explanation. The
creativity of Fours can also be employed in sarcastic, withering remarks
directed at those who have wounded their "sensitivities." Fours also can
experience intense hostility at the very people they have idealized. When
others fail to live up to Fours’ hopes of the "good parent," they may relive
the original pain they felt at not being able to connect with their parents,
but project this onto the new love interest. They may dramatically express the
rage and emotionality that they could not with their own parents, but usually
withdraw quickly before the intensity of their feelings overwhelms them or does
further damage to their relationships. More often, Fours will simmer and seethe
in silence.
On a
deep, unconscious level Fours are hostile toward their parents because they
feel that their parents did not nurture them properly. Fours feel that they
were not welcomed into the world; they feel out of place, unwanted—and they
are deeply enraged at their parents for doing this to them. However, their rage
at their parents is so deep that Fours cannot allow themselves to express it.
They fear their own anger, and so withhold it, trying to come to terms with it
themselves.
As
awareness of their hostility and negative feelings gradually wears them out,
average to unhealthy Fours sink ever more deeply into self-doubt, depression,
and despair. They spend most of their time searching for the courage to go on
living despite the overwhelming sense that the essential flaw in themselves is
so deep that it cannot be healed. Indeed, the feeling of hopelessness is the
current against which they must constantly swim. And if the undertow of
hopelessness is too strong, unhealthy Fours either succumb to an emotional
breakdown, or commit suicide because they despair of ever breaking free of it.
As
soon as Fours devote themselves to a search for self by withdrawing from life,
they are going in the wrong direction. No matter how necessary this search may
seem to them, they must become convinced that the direct search for self is a
temptation which eventually leads to despair.
On the
other hand, what makes healthy Fours healthy is not that they have freed
themselves once and for all from the turbulence of their emotions, but that
they have found a way to ride that current to some further destination. Healthy
Fours have learned to sustain their identities without exclusive reference to
their feelings. By overcoming the temptation to withdraw from life to search
for themselves, they will not only save themselves from their own
destructiveness, they will be able to bring something beautiful and good into
existence. If they learn to live this way, Fours can be among the most
life-enhancing of the personality types bringing good out of evil, hope from
hopelessness, meaning from absurdity, and saving what appeared to be lost.
(from Personality Types, p. 135-143)
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4. http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/type4.php
Enneagram Type 4 - The Individualist
Identity seekers, who feel unique and different
People
of this personality type tend to build their identities around their
perception of themselves as being somehow different or unique; they are
thus self-consciously individualistic. Fours tend to see their
difference from others as being both a gift and a curse - a gift,
because it sets them apart from those they perceive as being somehow
"common," and a curse, as it so often seems to separate them from the
simpler forms of happiness that others so readily seem to enjoy. Thus,
Fours can manage to feel superior to others while also secretly
harboring some degree of longing and envy. A feeling of being a member
of the "true aristocracy" alternates with deep feelings of shame, and
fears of somehow being deeply flawed or defective.
Fours are emotionally complex and highly sensitive. They long to be
understood and appreciated for their authentic selves, but easily feel
misunderstood and unappreciated. They have a tendency to withdraw in
the face of a world that seems harsh or crude, and are often somewhat
moody or temperamental. They are emotionally centered and spend much of
their lives immersed in their internal mental landscapes, where they
feel free to cultivate and analyse their feelings. A desire to manifest
this internal world often leads Fours to an interest in the arts, and
some do become actual artists. Whether artistic or not, however, most
Fours are aesthetically sensitive and concerned with self-expression
and self-revelation, whether it be in the clothes they wear or in the
overall nature of their often idiosyncratic lifestyles.
Fours are somewhat melancholic by disposition, and under stress tend
to lapse into depression. They also tend to be self-absorbed, even
under the best of circumstances, but when unbalanced, easily give way
to a self-indulgence which they perceive as being fully justified as a
way to compensate for the general lack of pleasure they experience in
their lives. Rather than look for practical solutions to their
difficulties, Fours are prone to fantasizing about a savior who will
rescue them from their unhappiness.
Intellectual Fours tend to mistakenly type themselves as Fives,
and a heavy wing can certainly exacerbate this tendency. Fours however,
unlike Fives, tend to be self-revealing and comfortable with emotional
expression.
5. http://www.lessons4living.com/enneagram4.htm
Enneagram:
Type Four
The Individualist wants
to be special and unique. The Individualist has a compulsive need to understand their
feelings, to be understood, to search for the missing meaning of life, and to avoid being
ordinary. |
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Features:
The Heart Center: Moves towards others -
Underdeveloped feeling.
Original Loss: "I was too plain and common."
Problem Emotion: Sadness
Decision: Being unique and special allows you to survive and be loved.
False Claim: "I am not ordinary. I am one of a kind."
Four Adjectives: Intuitive and creative, but self-absorbed and depressive
Self-image: "I am different. I’m not like
you."
Compulsion: To be unique and have a special style.
Avoidance: Ordinariness, everyday commonness.
Sin: Envy
Gift: To bring out the unique, special qualities of a situation or a person.
Three Wing: More extroverted, upbeat, ambitious, flamboyant, and image-conscious.
Five Wing: More Introverted, intellectual, idiosyncratic, reserved, and depressed.
Stress Point: 2 - Excessive helping, compulsive intrusion, hysterical, and
desperate.
Security Point: 1 - Steady, principled action, distinguishes between feelings and
values.
Crossing the River: Uses fancy styles and even does
a water ballet.
Affirmation: "I will value each day no matter how ordinary."
Adjectives for High Functioning
Fours:
Cherishes Beauty |
Artistically Expressive |
Self-aware |
Vulnerable |
Inspired |
Creative |
Intuitive |
Refined |
Sensitive |
Unique |
Personal and Revealing |
Imaginative |
Adjectives for
Average Functioning Fours:
Self-Absorbed |
Feels Different |
Enigmatic |
Dreamer |
Special |
Moody |
Emotional |
Romantic |
Descriptive
Adjectives for Low Functioning Fours:
Self-Reproachful |
Avoids Ordinariness |
Self-pitying |
Impractical |
Melancholic |
Depressed |
Despairing |
Alienated |
Tormented |
Hopeless |
Exempt |
Fears Success |
Famous Examples of Fours:
Jackie Onassis, Jeremy Irons, Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, Anne
Rice, J.D. Salinger, Edgar Allen Poe, Prince, Judy Garland, Vincent Van Gogh, Marlon
Brando, James Dean, Patsy Cline, Elizabeth Taylor, Janis Joplin, France - the Country.
6. http://www.enneagrambook.com/type4/
Enneagram Type 4 (Four): The Individualist, Romantic, Artist
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Fours are the poets and the artists. Well, fours are the starving
artists. Sometimes, you know, you have to starve to get to the real
stuff.
Fours are the masters of the emotional realm. Fours seem to be old
souls. They have been around the block with heartache and even if they
still get caught up in it they know there way around.
Some books say that four
